DOUBLE MASTECTOMY-RECOVERY(some graphic pictures on bottom of post!!!)

I'm back alive,and flat as a pool table ;)How should i start this terrible story of 2 weeks?! I guess I'll try to make it not that horrific as it was,but then it would be lying,so i will just tell y'all as it was ,how i felt about it,and that's that.at the end the pictures will  do the talk.

ouch

February 8th 2012 i was scheduled to a 4pm surgery.No water no food since the previous night.I had to be there with my little stuff and my guardian(angel) Katie by 11:00am.The prep to surgery takes a few hours i was told.My phone had problems i couldn't text or call because of a billing error.Katie got paranoid in the cab on the way to the hospital do to a in-plugged electric item.Omg i thought today is just going to be one f****d up day.So we checked in on time,then Katie took off with a speed of light to fix my phone problem and fly home to unplugged that thing.She made it back really fast,fixed my phone too.What a sweetheart right?
Around noon i was called in to see the nurse ,they took my vitals ,blood,more info about post surgery.The researcher lady sniff me out again(stalkers for my body parts lol). I signed on other paper saying yes, you can play with my cancerous lymph nodes  .After that i was told to sit in the waiting room.Few minutes left, my name was called i looked at Katie like wtf? I had to grab my stuff and follow a guy,to a private area.He told me to get butt naked put on two gown,and put my stuff in a plastic bag he handed me.I quickly called Katie while changing -this is it they roll me somewhere.-(cuz who knows the doctors got some free time in their hands?)

The first time in my life i was laying on this rolling hospital bed ,pushed by a male nurse dressed in blue from head to toe.I was thinking what everyone would  probably think ....oh wow this is just like in the movies.Same ceiling ,the lights fly by so fast....when he pushed me out of the room,i saw Katie .I asked the guy to stop for a second ,he said no problem.Katie looked surprised to see me like that .I said -hey i guess I'm going IN!!! .She said -did they drugged you? Your eyes are huge.I think it was huge(like scared animal eye's huge )because i was terrified what will happen next.I told her- nope and i guess see you later,and please don't leave me;(((...- and off i rolled down the hallway,to a major elevator.-So where are we going? -i asked the blue man.He said I'm going to the surgery room....say whaaaat? It's really happening.As much as i wanted this over with ,that minute i just wanted to jump off and run like Forrest Gump.

We hit 11th floor.The floor where all the bloodied stuff happens,the butchering,cutting ,patching,and fixing floor it was.Actually it looked like a top secret scientist underground facility with bullet proof double doors,heavy security all over,more blue man and woman walked around with masks on.From floor to sealing,locked down medicine cabinets full of stuff a junkie would kill for.I loved it here. I was like a kid in the candy store, just find myself in a different world ,like in Avatar lol I smiled at everyone who dared to look at me.They probably toughed- you won't be smiling soon honey- lol

yeay favorite chocolate ,coffee and cheese sticks

I was parked at lot 14. Imagine a open room with 14 beds ,7 on each side ,right by the main hallway.I got a good spot,for two reasons.It was the corner ,the closest to the hallway where all the doctors,nurses , medical students and all the blue man and women went back and forth.And because i was all alone ,with a great view.I was the only patient waiting for gutting out lol.I can truly say it was fun there ,to see these blue people acting like humans.They all had they phones attached to their waist,they joked around,some even flirt,some say shit about someone else....it's just a job to them,to me my life was in these people's hand...kind of.Well let's hope they don't screw me up,because they are human just like me.
First nurse come to me ,she talked and talked ,don't even remember what,something about how they (the employees)got health insurance from the hospital...i didn't listen i was checking out some really hot male nurses walking by.Some of 'em so damn sexy in that outfit....i shall be a nurse in my next life lol
Than she asked me if i have questions ,i said nope.I'm happy.
The second person come to me ,told me with a huge smile she was my anesthesiologist .I asked her- please please knock me out good.-She said -I sure will do,that's my job honey.She hooked me up to a IV and left.Then i saw my surgeon down the hallway,i got so happy to see a familiar face i shouted out -there she is!!!- She was smiling shouting back- hello darling ,we're finally here,how are you feeling? -I said never better,let's go in.I looked at the digital clock on the wall it was not even 1:00pm

They rolled me into a very cold surgery room.I was like; wow so much stuff to look at again,all these machines,lights, tools,and a camera  right above my head,so cool.I had to transfer myself to THE TABLE .It was so narrow,my hands fall on the side.Than all the sudden people start to appear from nowhere moving around me like little busy ants.In less than a minute,i had a movable table under my arms ,my gown was wide open,i was sterilized,i was hooked up to EKG ,got strange stickers and wires on my sides.And the funniest to me, they put a 2 inch wide tube by my foot between my legs ,that blow hot air,lol i wasn't cold anymore for sure.My doctor come to my side hold my hand ,and told me it's going to be all right, I'm very brave and she's proud of me.With that said ,came the anesthesiologist mask down to my mouth.-Breath in sweetheart nice and deep.1-2-3 BOOM i was knocked out cold.
Cold ,so cold i never in my life felt that freezing.I was shaking unstoppable.My eyes were closed,i felt moving around me....BOOM

I opened my eyes,slowly ,i was back at my parking spot #14,digital clock said 6:15pm still shaking ,but hey someone put a nice hot blanket on me....BOOM
Blurry face ...hey i know this face Katie;))) she smiled,i said -i made it-i lost my voice.BOOM
Every time i opened my eyes i saw a nurse next to me checking every movement on the monitor-that was nice to see i was in caring hands.

 day 1.First picture after mastectomy

After that i can't really remember much,because of painkillers,numb me a lot. I was sleeping and waking up for a few minutes,middle of the night a nurse come with pills ,said i had fever,i could barely move my head.I took it.I felt so thirsty,like i was left in the desert for a week without water...Still dark outside,i could see the skyscrapers from my window..nice...a million $ view....doctor come check on me ,he put a blue tube thing on my rolling table next to my bed (like i can reach to it)and told me to blow in it every hour 5 times and try to beat a number it shows.The reason to that ,was to make sure i don't get a collapsed lung .God it hurt to take a breath like never before.My first try showed 200 out from 1000,i couldn't do it 5 times.I asked the doc if it snowed-like it matters hahah -he said no.;(

The next morning was probably the worst in my life.All i could move was my head limited ways,and my legs.My left arm was hooked up to a standing IV ,needle in top of my hand all fingers swollen ,like a German sausage.Every time i try to move my arm it hurt like a b****.My right arm was out of service elbow and up period.That's the side they scooped out my whole armpit with all my lymph nodes.My chest was the worst of all.Have you ever got hit by a 18 wheeler?That actually stuck in you and try to back up? Yes that's what i felt.I was laying very uncomfortable, and my bed control fall  on the side i couldn't reach so i had to wait till someone showed up so i can ask for it.I also asked for my stuff (more than 5 times)so i can call Katie.Finally my surgeon pr come to see me,she went to get my stuff.That was special.No nurse would get it for me ,but my busy doctor did it;)  I was overwhelmed by all the texts and messages i got on my phone.People actually worried about me, say prayers and sent me positive energy awww i love my friends.

Katie try to see what goes where lol

me & chango

I had my first hospital breakfast,whatever it was i eat it all,which is not a big deal.The big deal was how i managed to eat it alone lol Katie come  bring me more  food,water ,laughter.She hooked up my pressure thingies on both of my legs,which actually felt very good.The reason i got those to prevent blood cloth.Katie's a very good nurse.I almost shed a tear when she left.Then my baby love  D. stopped by ,with a new friend Chango the monkey(toy) .I couldn't wish for a better man than D. He made sure I'm comfortable,he fed me got me water,hold my hand,lay down next to me on my bed ,singed our song....and eventually got kicked out by a nurse 1 hour after visiting hour lol

a smile of a zombie

'we are family '

Next morning i managed to go to the bathroom.It only got 15 minutes to get there (about 10 feet away).I had to choreograph every move to make it less painfully.I felt 110 years old .Now i have all the respect to all the people young and old who travels with IV stands and walk like Quasimodo.Trust me it's not pleasant. Going back to bed was even worst.I got fever again,and so much pain i had to call the nurse.Then a very nice lady doc. appeared like on angel from the heavens,saying -I will adjust your painkillers it will come regularly so you don't have to call. Yeay for me;) Than she ruined my yeay....-Good news you can go home this afternoon!!!! Come again??? I told myself

the Evil needles for draining

lady are you F**** out of your mind? Can't you see all i can do is moving my eyeballs and my toes?  I told her i would rather stay till i can actually walk .She was gone with the wind.My plastic surgeon team come in.They unwrapped me...and there it was...i meant wasn't much.I read a lot about the first look.Most woman cry.I didn't.I look at it and was amazed what a nice clean job they did.Yeah no nipple ,no form of a breast,but c'mon no cancer either that was the plan.Two cuts,bruises,lumps and bumps ,stitches,blood.
No biggie.My handsome plastic doc. said he didn't put drains in me as they usually do, because i was small size anyway and it wasn't necessary.On other yeay.BUT...he had to drain me on the spot.With big evil needles.He numbed me first.I didn't feel a thing,actually i chatted with him the whole time.
(PS i was drained since than 5 more times!!! I could do it myself by now ;)

angel?

That same day two more times they asked me, if I'm sure i don't want to go home.I got more sore,from the draining that afternoon and got fever.Angel doc. come back and finally realized I'm not in shape to let free just yet.Katie stoped by ,then went to work a few hours,then home to walk my dog Kitchi.I missed her a lot.Katie took pictures of her and showed it to me awww!!! D. come that night too .We went for a walk 3 of us. Me ,him and my new company,Mr.IV stand.It was a nice walk,nurses smiled at us , neighbour patients say hi.It was lovely.Next day Katie took care of my discharge papers,picked up my pills,ordered a 2 wheeler ride just for me f****n  A lol My ride was late so i said lets go.I was walking by the wall nice and slow.Nurses stop and look at me ,and saying 'atta girl'
Down the hall we saw a young guy running towards us with my chair i give him a hitch hike sign lol Good times huh? From that moment on for a week i was in a hands of Katie and my friends....my amazing friends!!!

No matter what, i will give you the horns ;)

I was drugged all through this 3 days i was there,so the order of happenings might be messed up a little .I put up some pictures which were taken at the hospital,and after at home.
I think i totally forget to mention the fact that i got a reconstruction on both sides.Meaning,right after they removed my boobs,the plastic team came in and take over.They placed two little water balloon right under the chest muscles.Then they closed it,leaving a little port just under the skin for further expansion. Then they closed the skin.That's how they expand a skin.Every now and then they open up the port put a little more salted water in it ,and close it.All this until the patient is satisfied.So basically i got 5 surgeries at once,in about 5 hours.
That's why you see all the bruises,that's why the excess liquid around the water balloons.And because of a earlier heart surgerie  one side is a little smaller than the other.Plastic said,not to worry,at the end i be very happy.The recovery at home ,my dazy days,memory loss,follow -ups and pathology report and what's next as treatment plans for the next 6 mo. will come soon ,so stand by. xoxox

first pic of ....this

after they drained both sides

home made chicken soup with a hazy look ...nice

sipy cup with safety straw lock the best invention;)

welcome home balloons cards flowers feel the love!

WELCOME HOME MOMMY;)))

THE FOLLOWING PICTURES MIGHT BE GRAPHIC TO SOME OF YOU.....JUST SAYING ;)

first week

first week.my abs,stomach, lower back,sides by ribcage
and whole waistline was swollen!!!

first week left side

first week right side

second week you can see a burn mark like a bullet scar lol

bruised up after on other draining

second week left side

'my best friends'

Day one at home.
I got this amazing chocolate covered fruit flower,from Harry & Alexis .

Freshairdoggiecare

The best dog walkers in the world.

THIS IS WHERE I LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO READ AND FOLLOW MY STORY,TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO ARE HERE FOR ME EVERY DAY,CLOSE OR FARE,THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS,THANK YOU FOR  THE TIME YOU TAKE TO BE WITH ME WRITE TO ME AND TAKE CARE OF ME.WE MADE IT THIS FARE ;)LET'S GET TO THE NEXT CHAPTER !SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE
KATIE,CSONGIKA,DIEGO,ALEXIS,HARRY,EVA,ELSIE AND BILLY,BARB,SHANE,AGI MAMA,KATI MAMA,MUCI AND GYURIKA,ANDREA AND SUTYI,LILLA AND BAZSI,HAJNAL AND ANDREW,JON AND MICHELLE,NIKI,MATT AND NATALIE AND ALL MY LITTLE CO-WORKERS.IF I FORGOT YOUR NAME ,FORGIVE ME.I'LL DOUBLE CHECK SOON.I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
TO BE CONTINUED...

LMAO i like my BMX as a ride better than this,but hey
im sexy and i know it ;)

BONE SCAN & CT'S

I'M back.It's been two weeks ,and trust me when i say that i have a lot to tell you ! Let's start with  the few test before butcher day.One was the bone scan.They shoot up some nuclear medicine by IV and told me to go back two hours later .It made me drowsy ,no surprise there i was getting use to that feeling lately lol.The test itself took about 1 hour.No biggie really no pain ,i just had to lay down on a table on this futuristic machine which scanned every millimeter of my body very slowly.Made a nice map of my bones ,while i took mini naps lol At the end i saw my own skeleton on the computer.Pretty cool;)The specialist told me that i have a beautiful bone structure,and that he can't see any abnormalities!! yeah that's a very good news;)So off i go.

 The other test was not that pleasant.It called the pelvis and abdomen CT.It also a scan which would screen my lower organs and everything else for cancer cells.They put a IV in my arm and than they give me this disgusting solution that looked like (censored) tasted like coconut soda mixed with pepto-bismo.Nasty stuff.The reason for that cocktail was to outline the intestines and other parts of in there.So there i was again in a strange machine.The specialist guy was a very cool dude ,he joked a lot made me feel comfortable,and relaxed he hooked up the IV to the machine ,and i felt this crazy hot flash running through my body.When a little light above my head  flashed a face with  a open mouth ,i had to take a deep breath.When the other face flashed i had to exhale.The whole test took like  20 min. And again off i go. Later on i learned my test come back negative for abnormalities ;)On other high 5 for Zsanett ;)   


this sucker had to stay in for two hours.

Now this testing chapter is over and I'm going to lead you to my bilateral mastectomy and all the fun and nightmares that comes with it .Now im going to take my pain meds and be back soon;) See ya;)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

the worst thing i ever abused my  poor body with lol

AXILLARY WEB SYNDROME

Its been only a week since my last post,seems like forever.I've been busy preparing myself,my home,my case to surgery with Katie's help.So much things happened i don't even know where to begin.Let's  go back in time 3 weeks.I felt a sharp pain in my right axillary area where my biopsy was taken.I toughed it's normal to have that shooting pain all over on my right side.Than i noticed that I'm having difficulty to raise my arm,and days later i couldn't even straiten out my whole arm!!! Could not reach up,out or twist my lower arm.I saw a cord like string super tight in my armpit,every time i try to reach up.Same cord in my mid arm by the elbow veins. The pain was so bad ,felt like someone is trying to pull some nerves inside out.Like it wasn't bad enough,it also went down under my cancerous breast ,by my ribcage.
Needless to say this affected my wonderful skills as a waitress.My boy's (my 7 smurfs)at work were amazingly helpful,reaching up for things,lifting,pulling,they were right there the second i needed help.So after days of struggle and sleepless nights,i begin to research for this weird condition and this is what i find.

Left side arm can't be straighten out,
visible change in shape too.

Axillary web syndrome (AWS) is a relatively new term for an old problem that may be seen in people who are treated for breast cancer. Identified for many years as lymphatic or axillary cording,^1,2 AWS is described as a visible web of axillary skin overlying palpable cords of tissue that are made taut and painful by shoulder abduction.³
The etiology of AWS is most likely due to interruption of the axillary lymphatics during either sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB) or axillary lymph node dissection (ALND), two procedures that may be performed for the treatment of breast cancer.^3-6 This phenomenon has also been observed in a patient following axillary staging for melanoma⁷ as well as a patient with breast cancer and axillary metastases who developed AWS without ever having surgery.³
Chief complaint is pain in the  axilla extending down the arm with overhead activities. identified an acutely painful, fibrous cord from the axillary scar into  mid forearm with an inability to lift anything with the left hand or to reach overhead.'       for reference go to;
 http://www.vodderschool.com/treatment_of_axillary_web_syndrome

I called my doctor right away,she told me to go see her ASAP. Until i should take Advil for the pain and inflammation ,also wrap my whole arm in warm towel multiple times a day. I did that for three days and hallelujah.It got much better.Idid see my doc ,she said i be fine by the surgery,and my case is not that bad as other woman had ;( poor ladies out there. I got one week to go.My arm is about 90% back to normal.I'm happy with that,even thought my other hand start to feel funny,I'm hoping it's not this nightmare,and I will be OK till surgery.

TESTS TEST AND MORE TESTS

I met my surgeon and the rest of my breast clinic team on DEC.30th.I was so nervous i just wanted this meeting over.My surgeon is a very cool woman,who knows what shes talking about;(that's a very good thing) .Most of the things she told me i already knew ,do to my never stopping research habit.Basically she and her co-worker Liz who's my v.p. made a schedule plan for all kinds of tests,so we get the most info we need to know about my cancer.Like, how is it spread,what triggers it ,where did it spread if it did?etc...Than she told me what are my choices in surgeries,and how's my next one year will turn upside down.

Meanwhile a researcher find me, asked me tons of questions,give me a literature about stuff.There was a chaos in my mind already,so much info in such a short time.This girl was a little annoying,so i said OK,and signed a form stating,that whatever (cancer)the doc. cuts out from me ,I'm donating it to breast cancer researchers @ NYU to study and do whatever they want to do with it.I know i don't want to keep it in a jar.

Than i got  referrals to different doctors,appointments to zillion tests,i can't even write it down,it makes me dizzy just to think about it,how many times they took my blood,temperature,height,weight,more mammogram test,more ultrasound,and omg one more biopsy on my leftie.(it wasn't as bad as the first one )So to go on ,they put me in  loud machines I've never seen,shoot up nuclear medicine in a IV for hours,check me over and over,same questions,same answers.In these weeks my calendar was full.I'VE spent more time in the hospital running between floors,waiting for appointment for hours,than at work,or home.I got around nicely thought ,i love this hospital,specially the cafeteria. The employees at Bellevue hospital, the nurses,and doctors are  simply wonderful.I ended up with three team.

My breast cancer surgery team; whom they going to do a bilateral mastectomy(breast removal on both sides)
My plastic surgery team;whom they going to do reconstruction surgery on my chest (put in a stretcher like two water balloons, for a few months,than change it to silicon or whatever i want.).
My oncology (chemotherapy) team;whom will make sure i get the right treatment after recovery from surgery.Oh and i almost forget my psychologist ! I have a nice talk with her every other week.It's kind of recommended to see a shrink,because for some woman loosing a breast is very shocking,a major trauma.To me not yet.Im more worry about the pain im going to have post surgery !!! I try to keep my mind on the goal,and do whatever it takes to get there.The goal is to be cancer free.To get there i have to sacrifice,and suffer a lot,but it's only temporary.So  yeah, bottom line is,i still have 3 test left all in this month(January)My doc. called today with the date of my surgery.The day of my buchering is february 8th!!! 2 weeks from now.(panic attack go away lol)I'm scheduled for chemo consultation in mid February.
This is the story so fare.I will break down a lot of stuff in different posts as it is.My next chapter is the complications of my first axillary biopsy.Coming soon,stay tuned;)...xoxo

THE VERDICT IS : BREAST CANCER

Its been one week since the biopsy took place, my scar is fading ,my anxiety is growing day by day.In the back of my mind i knew ,i have something that is not a common cyst .I didn't feel good since October.I was getting tired easily, always smile silly mood turned into something i couldn't even categorize.And that new kind of daze 'diziness' just throw me off all the time.It's the weirdest of all symptoms so fare.Feels like I'm drunk my head is spinning and my eyes have to catch up to  the view.It's awful ,specially when I'm serving food,i have to focus on my balance so i don't serve myself on the costumer lol The other annoying symptom i developed is this fever like feeling ....but only on my face.You would not believe how hot my face can get.I could fry some eggs on my forehead i swear.Funny thing is the thermometer show no fever !?

My doctor called,my results are in.I went to see her the next day.When i saw her ,i knew she was not in the mood to break this news for me.I feelt sorry for her for a minute.She told me that the biopsy ,mammo and US confirm that i have a stage 2+ ish breast cancer.IDC the name of this type of cancer,which travels through the glands,and mine already went to my axillary and turned into cancer.I suppose that's why they call it invasive.I was in 'my daze' it just didn't get to my brain yet.
-So what am i doing next?-i asked her, hoping she will say -Well take this  red pill and this tylenol 3x a day and say a prayer every night ,and you be ok in a week.
She said,she will transfer all my files to Bellevue Hospital,where i'll meet my surgion.I was told that my right boob have to go bye bye for sure.I should also count on getting chemotheraphy,and drugs.....lots of drugs. She said i'll have tons of more tests,and i'll meet amazing people they will  care about me and will get the best treatment possible.And i was on the street again calling Katie,but wont be able to speak.My throat closed up ,i could't see from my tears that i was holding back there. 

DECEMBER

December 7

I was scheduled for a 11:00 am appointment  Radiology at Roosevelt Hospital.Katie my best friend in the whole world(also my roommate,adopted sister,and the second mommy for my dog)was with me. There was some paper work mixed up,and some getting into the wrong building,but we made it on time.Waiting is something I'm having trouble with,but these weeks i learned to control my legs,sit still at least for 3 minutes,than switch my legs around.At noon a nurse came out saying "there are complications with a patient before me"-so if i want to go get something to eat i can. Great we thought just what i wanted to hear that a poor woman "dying" on the table where i will be laying soon.I couldn't eat much.We went back in 30 minutes and i was called in.Katie had to go to work,i told her i call asap.And there i was in a little dark room,i recognized the ultrasound monitor(duh it's going to be a ultrasound guided core biopsy).I was shaking so bad ,i wasn't mind to lay down on that table.The nurse was awesome,kind of bubbly.She  told me whats going to happen,and that i be ok.Than the doctor came in,he checked the area ,put my right arm above my head,and there i felt the first numbing shot just under the skin,and the second in the deep tissue.What can i say not pleasant. 

I was grabbing the blanket they put on me with one hand ,and my foot got its own life at this point.I saw the whole process on the monitor right front of me.I saw the huge at least 6 inch needle entering my body,and not feel a thing ! Awesome it's like watching a horror movie and be part of it at the same time.Than i heard that awful clicking sound when the needle take out samples of the mass.Doctor took 6-8 samples,he said i was bleeding more than i should. Than he put a tiny 'clip' on the site of the biopsy and take out the needle.2nd part was next.

The axillary area needed a biopsy too(my armpit) same process but more painful like pressure feeling.The nurse was right next to me holding my thigh.I felt light headed,and i couldn't feel my right arm,it went totally numb.I was sleepy and started to stare the sealing .I was singing in my head that song from Moulin Rouge 'come what may' .

Whatever these people done to my chest was in a fog now....i thought wow my life is changing hour to hour,and I'm not even in control at all.When they finished i had to sit up.It was a challenge,only because my head was spinning do to 4 full loaded anesthesia shot.The nurse said hang in there girl,and snapped some sea salt under my nose,throw some wet towel on my head,and now i felt bubbly and giggly.I was on the table for a hour and a half.My knees were shaking like jellies when nurse said i have to go for mammo right now just to see all ok in there.After that i was let out in the wild world.

I had to walk next to a wall so i don't get hit by a car. Called Katie right away poor girl, i scared her a lot ,as i still can't remember what i was saying to her for a few minutes.

In the next days i looked like a abused victim.My chest area went from bumpy to lumpy,from blue to purple,to yellow.I had cramps, very short but intense.Felt like those needles entered my body again.Sucked ....a lot!

THE BEGINNING

END OF NOVEMBER

It all begin in the shower. I felt a lump in my right breast,and about the same time i felt the blood running out from my face too. I thought this is bad news ,whatever it is.I was scared of the unknown thing inside of me.
The next day i went to my health clinic to have a breast exam.My doc said it's probably just a cyst,but we have to investigate more ,just to make sure it's nothing serious.I was sent to radiology to get my very first mammogram,and also ultrasound.I have a small breast a 34A.
No one ever told me mammogram is a torcher! It's barbaric and very painful.It smashed my poor little twins into pancakes ,not to mention my new additional lump.I was screaming in my head 'woman you better stop ,because i cant take it much longer'.My mammo specialist was a tiny little Japanese girl,very pretty.She just smiled and said it's almost done,hang on.' So i did with all my fingers wrapped around the machine.The images were pretty cool looking,like a dark galaxy from star wars.
After mammo i went to ultrasound.The room was very calming,warm and dark.I could most definitely take a nap there after the horror of mammo. Didn't happened i was a patient ,and needed answers.The US specialist was a nice lady,she took a bunch of pictures,and called the doctor in.The doctor look at the images and called for two more doctors....They started to whisper unknown language into each others ears.That's when i started to worry .I felt like a rat in a cage,without name.I was told that something is not right in my right boob.I have calcification's,i have a mass,and i have two more  suspicious lump in my axillary.He said it's something i should worry about.So i did.In 10 minutes i was scheduled for core biopsy for next week.