DOUBLE MASTECTOMY-RECOVERY(some graphic pictures on bottom of post!!!)

I'm back alive,and flat as a pool table ;)How should i start this terrible story of 2 weeks?! I guess I'll try to make it not that horrific as it was,but then it would be lying,so i will just tell y'all as it was ,how i felt about it,and that's that.at the end the pictures will  do the talk.

ouch

February 8th 2012 i was scheduled to a 4pm surgery.No water no food since the previous night.I had to be there with my little stuff and my guardian(angel) Katie by 11:00am.The prep to surgery takes a few hours i was told.My phone had problems i couldn't text or call because of a billing error.Katie got paranoid in the cab on the way to the hospital do to a in-plugged electric item.Omg i thought today is just going to be one f****d up day.So we checked in on time,then Katie took off with a speed of light to fix my phone problem and fly home to unplugged that thing.She made it back really fast,fixed my phone too.What a sweetheart right?
Around noon i was called in to see the nurse ,they took my vitals ,blood,more info about post surgery.The researcher lady sniff me out again(stalkers for my body parts lol). I signed on other paper saying yes, you can play with my cancerous lymph nodes  .After that i was told to sit in the waiting room.Few minutes left, my name was called i looked at Katie like wtf? I had to grab my stuff and follow a guy,to a private area.He told me to get butt naked put on two gown,and put my stuff in a plastic bag he handed me.I quickly called Katie while changing -this is it they roll me somewhere.-(cuz who knows the doctors got some free time in their hands?)

The first time in my life i was laying on this rolling hospital bed ,pushed by a male nurse dressed in blue from head to toe.I was thinking what everyone would  probably think ....oh wow this is just like in the movies.Same ceiling ,the lights fly by so fast....when he pushed me out of the room,i saw Katie .I asked the guy to stop for a second ,he said no problem.Katie looked surprised to see me like that .I said -hey i guess I'm going IN!!! .She said -did they drugged you? Your eyes are huge.I think it was huge(like scared animal eye's huge )because i was terrified what will happen next.I told her- nope and i guess see you later,and please don't leave me;(((...- and off i rolled down the hallway,to a major elevator.-So where are we going? -i asked the blue man.He said I'm going to the surgery room....say whaaaat? It's really happening.As much as i wanted this over with ,that minute i just wanted to jump off and run like Forrest Gump.

We hit 11th floor.The floor where all the bloodied stuff happens,the butchering,cutting ,patching,and fixing floor it was.Actually it looked like a top secret scientist underground facility with bullet proof double doors,heavy security all over,more blue man and woman walked around with masks on.From floor to sealing,locked down medicine cabinets full of stuff a junkie would kill for.I loved it here. I was like a kid in the candy store, just find myself in a different world ,like in Avatar lol I smiled at everyone who dared to look at me.They probably toughed- you won't be smiling soon honey- lol

yeay favorite chocolate ,coffee and cheese sticks

I was parked at lot 14. Imagine a open room with 14 beds ,7 on each side ,right by the main hallway.I got a good spot,for two reasons.It was the corner ,the closest to the hallway where all the doctors,nurses , medical students and all the blue man and women went back and forth.And because i was all alone ,with a great view.I was the only patient waiting for gutting out lol.I can truly say it was fun there ,to see these blue people acting like humans.They all had they phones attached to their waist,they joked around,some even flirt,some say shit about someone else....it's just a job to them,to me my life was in these people's hand...kind of.Well let's hope they don't screw me up,because they are human just like me.
First nurse come to me ,she talked and talked ,don't even remember what,something about how they (the employees)got health insurance from the hospital...i didn't listen i was checking out some really hot male nurses walking by.Some of 'em so damn sexy in that outfit....i shall be a nurse in my next life lol
Than she asked me if i have questions ,i said nope.I'm happy.
The second person come to me ,told me with a huge smile she was my anesthesiologist .I asked her- please please knock me out good.-She said -I sure will do,that's my job honey.She hooked me up to a IV and left.Then i saw my surgeon down the hallway,i got so happy to see a familiar face i shouted out -there she is!!!- She was smiling shouting back- hello darling ,we're finally here,how are you feeling? -I said never better,let's go in.I looked at the digital clock on the wall it was not even 1:00pm

They rolled me into a very cold surgery room.I was like; wow so much stuff to look at again,all these machines,lights, tools,and a camera  right above my head,so cool.I had to transfer myself to THE TABLE .It was so narrow,my hands fall on the side.Than all the sudden people start to appear from nowhere moving around me like little busy ants.In less than a minute,i had a movable table under my arms ,my gown was wide open,i was sterilized,i was hooked up to EKG ,got strange stickers and wires on my sides.And the funniest to me, they put a 2 inch wide tube by my foot between my legs ,that blow hot air,lol i wasn't cold anymore for sure.My doctor come to my side hold my hand ,and told me it's going to be all right, I'm very brave and she's proud of me.With that said ,came the anesthesiologist mask down to my mouth.-Breath in sweetheart nice and deep.1-2-3 BOOM i was knocked out cold.
Cold ,so cold i never in my life felt that freezing.I was shaking unstoppable.My eyes were closed,i felt moving around me....BOOM

I opened my eyes,slowly ,i was back at my parking spot #14,digital clock said 6:15pm still shaking ,but hey someone put a nice hot blanket on me....BOOM
Blurry face ...hey i know this face Katie;))) she smiled,i said -i made it-i lost my voice.BOOM
Every time i opened my eyes i saw a nurse next to me checking every movement on the monitor-that was nice to see i was in caring hands.

 day 1.First picture after mastectomy

After that i can't really remember much,because of painkillers,numb me a lot. I was sleeping and waking up for a few minutes,middle of the night a nurse come with pills ,said i had fever,i could barely move my head.I took it.I felt so thirsty,like i was left in the desert for a week without water...Still dark outside,i could see the skyscrapers from my window..nice...a million $ view....doctor come check on me ,he put a blue tube thing on my rolling table next to my bed (like i can reach to it)and told me to blow in it every hour 5 times and try to beat a number it shows.The reason to that ,was to make sure i don't get a collapsed lung .God it hurt to take a breath like never before.My first try showed 200 out from 1000,i couldn't do it 5 times.I asked the doc if it snowed-like it matters hahah -he said no.;(

The next morning was probably the worst in my life.All i could move was my head limited ways,and my legs.My left arm was hooked up to a standing IV ,needle in top of my hand all fingers swollen ,like a German sausage.Every time i try to move my arm it hurt like a b****.My right arm was out of service elbow and up period.That's the side they scooped out my whole armpit with all my lymph nodes.My chest was the worst of all.Have you ever got hit by a 18 wheeler?That actually stuck in you and try to back up? Yes that's what i felt.I was laying very uncomfortable, and my bed control fall  on the side i couldn't reach so i had to wait till someone showed up so i can ask for it.I also asked for my stuff (more than 5 times)so i can call Katie.Finally my surgeon pr come to see me,she went to get my stuff.That was special.No nurse would get it for me ,but my busy doctor did it;)  I was overwhelmed by all the texts and messages i got on my phone.People actually worried about me, say prayers and sent me positive energy awww i love my friends.

Katie try to see what goes where lol

me & chango

I had my first hospital breakfast,whatever it was i eat it all,which is not a big deal.The big deal was how i managed to eat it alone lol Katie come  bring me more  food,water ,laughter.She hooked up my pressure thingies on both of my legs,which actually felt very good.The reason i got those to prevent blood cloth.Katie's a very good nurse.I almost shed a tear when she left.Then my baby love  D. stopped by ,with a new friend Chango the monkey(toy) .I couldn't wish for a better man than D. He made sure I'm comfortable,he fed me got me water,hold my hand,lay down next to me on my bed ,singed our song....and eventually got kicked out by a nurse 1 hour after visiting hour lol

a smile of a zombie

'we are family '

Next morning i managed to go to the bathroom.It only got 15 minutes to get there (about 10 feet away).I had to choreograph every move to make it less painfully.I felt 110 years old .Now i have all the respect to all the people young and old who travels with IV stands and walk like Quasimodo.Trust me it's not pleasant. Going back to bed was even worst.I got fever again,and so much pain i had to call the nurse.Then a very nice lady doc. appeared like on angel from the heavens,saying -I will adjust your painkillers it will come regularly so you don't have to call. Yeay for me;) Than she ruined my yeay....-Good news you can go home this afternoon!!!! Come again??? I told myself

the Evil needles for draining

lady are you F**** out of your mind? Can't you see all i can do is moving my eyeballs and my toes?  I told her i would rather stay till i can actually walk .She was gone with the wind.My plastic surgeon team come in.They unwrapped me...and there it was...i meant wasn't much.I read a lot about the first look.Most woman cry.I didn't.I look at it and was amazed what a nice clean job they did.Yeah no nipple ,no form of a breast,but c'mon no cancer either that was the plan.Two cuts,bruises,lumps and bumps ,stitches,blood.
No biggie.My handsome plastic doc. said he didn't put drains in me as they usually do, because i was small size anyway and it wasn't necessary.On other yeay.BUT...he had to drain me on the spot.With big evil needles.He numbed me first.I didn't feel a thing,actually i chatted with him the whole time.
(PS i was drained since than 5 more times!!! I could do it myself by now ;)

angel?

That same day two more times they asked me, if I'm sure i don't want to go home.I got more sore,from the draining that afternoon and got fever.Angel doc. come back and finally realized I'm not in shape to let free just yet.Katie stoped by ,then went to work a few hours,then home to walk my dog Kitchi.I missed her a lot.Katie took pictures of her and showed it to me awww!!! D. come that night too .We went for a walk 3 of us. Me ,him and my new company,Mr.IV stand.It was a nice walk,nurses smiled at us , neighbour patients say hi.It was lovely.Next day Katie took care of my discharge papers,picked up my pills,ordered a 2 wheeler ride just for me f****n  A lol My ride was late so i said lets go.I was walking by the wall nice and slow.Nurses stop and look at me ,and saying 'atta girl'
Down the hall we saw a young guy running towards us with my chair i give him a hitch hike sign lol Good times huh? From that moment on for a week i was in a hands of Katie and my friends....my amazing friends!!!

No matter what, i will give you the horns ;)

I was drugged all through this 3 days i was there,so the order of happenings might be messed up a little .I put up some pictures which were taken at the hospital,and after at home.
I think i totally forget to mention the fact that i got a reconstruction on both sides.Meaning,right after they removed my boobs,the plastic team came in and take over.They placed two little water balloon right under the chest muscles.Then they closed it,leaving a little port just under the skin for further expansion. Then they closed the skin.That's how they expand a skin.Every now and then they open up the port put a little more salted water in it ,and close it.All this until the patient is satisfied.So basically i got 5 surgeries at once,in about 5 hours.
That's why you see all the bruises,that's why the excess liquid around the water balloons.And because of a earlier heart surgerie  one side is a little smaller than the other.Plastic said,not to worry,at the end i be very happy.The recovery at home ,my dazy days,memory loss,follow -ups and pathology report and what's next as treatment plans for the next 6 mo. will come soon ,so stand by. xoxox

first pic of ....this

after they drained both sides

home made chicken soup with a hazy look ...nice

sipy cup with safety straw lock the best invention;)

welcome home balloons cards flowers feel the love!

WELCOME HOME MOMMY;)))

THE FOLLOWING PICTURES MIGHT BE GRAPHIC TO SOME OF YOU.....JUST SAYING ;)

first week

first week.my abs,stomach, lower back,sides by ribcage
and whole waistline was swollen!!!

first week left side

first week right side

second week you can see a burn mark like a bullet scar lol

bruised up after on other draining

second week left side

'my best friends'

Day one at home.
I got this amazing chocolate covered fruit flower,from Harry & Alexis .

Freshairdoggiecare

The best dog walkers in the world.

THIS IS WHERE I LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO READ AND FOLLOW MY STORY,TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO ARE HERE FOR ME EVERY DAY,CLOSE OR FARE,THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS,THANK YOU FOR  THE TIME YOU TAKE TO BE WITH ME WRITE TO ME AND TAKE CARE OF ME.WE MADE IT THIS FARE ;)LET'S GET TO THE NEXT CHAPTER !SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE
KATIE,CSONGIKA,DIEGO,ALEXIS,HARRY,EVA,ELSIE AND BILLY,BARB,SHANE,AGI MAMA,KATI MAMA,MUCI AND GYURIKA,ANDREA AND SUTYI,LILLA AND BAZSI,HAJNAL AND ANDREW,JON AND MICHELLE,NIKI,MATT AND NATALIE AND ALL MY LITTLE CO-WORKERS.IF I FORGOT YOUR NAME ,FORGIVE ME.I'LL DOUBLE CHECK SOON.I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
TO BE CONTINUED...

LMAO i like my BMX as a ride better than this,but hey
im sexy and i know it ;)