Meanwhile a researcher find me, asked me tons of questions,give me a literature about stuff.There was a chaos in my mind already,so much info in such a short time.This girl was a little annoying,so i said OK,and signed a form stating,that whatever (cancer)the doc. cuts out from me ,I'm donating it to breast cancer researchers @ NYU to study and do whatever they want to do with it.I know i don't want to keep it in a jar.
Than i got referrals to different doctors,appointments to zillion tests,i can't even write it down,it makes me dizzy just to think about it,how many times they took my blood,temperature,height,weight,more mammogram test,more ultrasound,and omg one more biopsy on my leftie.(it wasn't as bad as the first one )So to go on ,they put me in loud machines I've never seen,shoot up nuclear medicine in a IV for hours,check me over and over,same questions,same answers.In these weeks my calendar was full.I'VE spent more time in the hospital running between floors,waiting for appointment for hours,than at work,or home.I got around nicely thought ,i love this hospital,specially the cafeteria. The employees at Bellevue hospital, the nurses,and doctors are simply wonderful.I ended up with three team.
My breast cancer surgery team; whom they going to do a bilateral mastectomy(breast removal on both sides)
My plastic surgery team;whom they going to do reconstruction surgery on my chest (put in a stretcher like two water balloons, for a few months,than change it to silicon or whatever i want.).
My oncology (chemotherapy) team;whom will make sure i get the right treatment after recovery from surgery.Oh and i almost forget my psychologist ! I have a nice talk with her every other week.It's kind of recommended to see a shrink,because for some woman loosing a breast is very shocking,a major trauma.To me not yet.Im more worry about the pain im going to have post surgery !!! I try to keep my mind on the goal,and do whatever it takes to get there.The goal is to be cancer free.To get there i have to sacrifice,and suffer a lot,but it's only temporary.So yeah, bottom line is,i still have 3 test left all in this month(January)My doc. called today with the date of my surgery.The day of my buchering is february 8th!!! 2 weeks from now.(panic attack go away lol)I'm scheduled for chemo consultation in mid February.
This is the story so fare.I will break down a lot of stuff in different posts as it is.My next chapter is the complications of my first axillary biopsy.Coming soon,stay tuned;)...xoxo
Believe me when I say I understand what you are going through as far as being tested like a lab rat. Your head spins in so many directions, and half the times you're not absorbing what any of the doctors are saying. Every night you are tossing and turning and wondering what's going to happen next. Sleep is a pass time, all you can do is worry. No matter what happens Zansi, take things at one day at a time, do your best not to predict the future outcome or else you'll drive yourself nuts. It is what it is - now fight. Ask a lot of questions, have someone with you who may be able to ask questions for you. I know how difficult it is to concentrate on what they are saying because your nerves are all over the place. If someone can't go with you, bring paper and pad and jott down whatever they say. Make them repeat if you have to, they will understand. Last year around this time I went through something very similiar to you...that's why I say - I understand. You are in my prayers every night. Stay strong, Zsani.
ReplyDeleteThank you Elsie!
ReplyDeletethank you for telling me that you went through something similar,it means a lot to me when you said you understand! i be strong,and i will fight this as long as it takes;)xoxo