TESTS TEST AND MORE TESTS

I met my surgeon and the rest of my breast clinic team on DEC.30th.I was so nervous i just wanted this meeting over.My surgeon is a very cool woman,who knows what shes talking about;(that's a very good thing) .Most of the things she told me i already knew ,do to my never stopping research habit.Basically she and her co-worker Liz who's my v.p. made a schedule plan for all kinds of tests,so we get the most info we need to know about my cancer.Like, how is it spread,what triggers it ,where did it spread if it did?etc...Than she told me what are my choices in surgeries,and how's my next one year will turn upside down.

Meanwhile a researcher find me, asked me tons of questions,give me a literature about stuff.There was a chaos in my mind already,so much info in such a short time.This girl was a little annoying,so i said OK,and signed a form stating,that whatever (cancer)the doc. cuts out from me ,I'm donating it to breast cancer researchers @ NYU to study and do whatever they want to do with it.I know i don't want to keep it in a jar.

Than i got  referrals to different doctors,appointments to zillion tests,i can't even write it down,it makes me dizzy just to think about it,how many times they took my blood,temperature,height,weight,more mammogram test,more ultrasound,and omg one more biopsy on my leftie.(it wasn't as bad as the first one )So to go on ,they put me in  loud machines I've never seen,shoot up nuclear medicine in a IV for hours,check me over and over,same questions,same answers.In these weeks my calendar was full.I'VE spent more time in the hospital running between floors,waiting for appointment for hours,than at work,or home.I got around nicely thought ,i love this hospital,specially the cafeteria. The employees at Bellevue hospital, the nurses,and doctors are  simply wonderful.I ended up with three team.

My breast cancer surgery team; whom they going to do a bilateral mastectomy(breast removal on both sides)
My plastic surgery team;whom they going to do reconstruction surgery on my chest (put in a stretcher like two water balloons, for a few months,than change it to silicon or whatever i want.).
My oncology (chemotherapy) team;whom will make sure i get the right treatment after recovery from surgery.Oh and i almost forget my psychologist ! I have a nice talk with her every other week.It's kind of recommended to see a shrink,because for some woman loosing a breast is very shocking,a major trauma.To me not yet.Im more worry about the pain im going to have post surgery !!! I try to keep my mind on the goal,and do whatever it takes to get there.The goal is to be cancer free.To get there i have to sacrifice,and suffer a lot,but it's only temporary.So  yeah, bottom line is,i still have 3 test left all in this month(January)My doc. called today with the date of my surgery.The day of my buchering is february 8th!!! 2 weeks from now.(panic attack go away lol)I'm scheduled for chemo consultation in mid February.
This is the story so fare.I will break down a lot of stuff in different posts as it is.My next chapter is the complications of my first axillary biopsy.Coming soon,stay tuned;)...xoxo

THE VERDICT IS : BREAST CANCER

Its been one week since the biopsy took place, my scar is fading ,my anxiety is growing day by day.In the back of my mind i knew ,i have something that is not a common cyst .I didn't feel good since October.I was getting tired easily, always smile silly mood turned into something i couldn't even categorize.And that new kind of daze 'diziness' just throw me off all the time.It's the weirdest of all symptoms so fare.Feels like I'm drunk my head is spinning and my eyes have to catch up to  the view.It's awful ,specially when I'm serving food,i have to focus on my balance so i don't serve myself on the costumer lol The other annoying symptom i developed is this fever like feeling ....but only on my face.You would not believe how hot my face can get.I could fry some eggs on my forehead i swear.Funny thing is the thermometer show no fever !?

My doctor called,my results are in.I went to see her the next day.When i saw her ,i knew she was not in the mood to break this news for me.I feelt sorry for her for a minute.She told me that the biopsy ,mammo and US confirm that i have a stage 2+ ish breast cancer.IDC the name of this type of cancer,which travels through the glands,and mine already went to my axillary and turned into cancer.I suppose that's why they call it invasive.I was in 'my daze' it just didn't get to my brain yet.
-So what am i doing next?-i asked her, hoping she will say -Well take this  red pill and this tylenol 3x a day and say a prayer every night ,and you be ok in a week.
She said,she will transfer all my files to Bellevue Hospital,where i'll meet my surgion.I was told that my right boob have to go bye bye for sure.I should also count on getting chemotheraphy,and drugs.....lots of drugs. She said i'll have tons of more tests,and i'll meet amazing people they will  care about me and will get the best treatment possible.And i was on the street again calling Katie,but wont be able to speak.My throat closed up ,i could't see from my tears that i was holding back there. 

DECEMBER

December 7

I was scheduled for a 11:00 am appointment  Radiology at Roosevelt Hospital.Katie my best friend in the whole world(also my roommate,adopted sister,and the second mommy for my dog)was with me. There was some paper work mixed up,and some getting into the wrong building,but we made it on time.Waiting is something I'm having trouble with,but these weeks i learned to control my legs,sit still at least for 3 minutes,than switch my legs around.At noon a nurse came out saying "there are complications with a patient before me"-so if i want to go get something to eat i can. Great we thought just what i wanted to hear that a poor woman "dying" on the table where i will be laying soon.I couldn't eat much.We went back in 30 minutes and i was called in.Katie had to go to work,i told her i call asap.And there i was in a little dark room,i recognized the ultrasound monitor(duh it's going to be a ultrasound guided core biopsy).I was shaking so bad ,i wasn't mind to lay down on that table.The nurse was awesome,kind of bubbly.She  told me whats going to happen,and that i be ok.Than the doctor came in,he checked the area ,put my right arm above my head,and there i felt the first numbing shot just under the skin,and the second in the deep tissue.What can i say not pleasant. 

I was grabbing the blanket they put on me with one hand ,and my foot got its own life at this point.I saw the whole process on the monitor right front of me.I saw the huge at least 6 inch needle entering my body,and not feel a thing ! Awesome it's like watching a horror movie and be part of it at the same time.Than i heard that awful clicking sound when the needle take out samples of the mass.Doctor took 6-8 samples,he said i was bleeding more than i should. Than he put a tiny 'clip' on the site of the biopsy and take out the needle.2nd part was next.

The axillary area needed a biopsy too(my armpit) same process but more painful like pressure feeling.The nurse was right next to me holding my thigh.I felt light headed,and i couldn't feel my right arm,it went totally numb.I was sleepy and started to stare the sealing .I was singing in my head that song from Moulin Rouge 'come what may' .

Whatever these people done to my chest was in a fog now....i thought wow my life is changing hour to hour,and I'm not even in control at all.When they finished i had to sit up.It was a challenge,only because my head was spinning do to 4 full loaded anesthesia shot.The nurse said hang in there girl,and snapped some sea salt under my nose,throw some wet towel on my head,and now i felt bubbly and giggly.I was on the table for a hour and a half.My knees were shaking like jellies when nurse said i have to go for mammo right now just to see all ok in there.After that i was let out in the wild world.

I had to walk next to a wall so i don't get hit by a car. Called Katie right away poor girl, i scared her a lot ,as i still can't remember what i was saying to her for a few minutes.

In the next days i looked like a abused victim.My chest area went from bumpy to lumpy,from blue to purple,to yellow.I had cramps, very short but intense.Felt like those needles entered my body again.Sucked ....a lot!

THE BEGINNING

END OF NOVEMBER

It all begin in the shower. I felt a lump in my right breast,and about the same time i felt the blood running out from my face too. I thought this is bad news ,whatever it is.I was scared of the unknown thing inside of me.
The next day i went to my health clinic to have a breast exam.My doc said it's probably just a cyst,but we have to investigate more ,just to make sure it's nothing serious.I was sent to radiology to get my very first mammogram,and also ultrasound.I have a small breast a 34A.
No one ever told me mammogram is a torcher! It's barbaric and very painful.It smashed my poor little twins into pancakes ,not to mention my new additional lump.I was screaming in my head 'woman you better stop ,because i cant take it much longer'.My mammo specialist was a tiny little Japanese girl,very pretty.She just smiled and said it's almost done,hang on.' So i did with all my fingers wrapped around the machine.The images were pretty cool looking,like a dark galaxy from star wars.
After mammo i went to ultrasound.The room was very calming,warm and dark.I could most definitely take a nap there after the horror of mammo. Didn't happened i was a patient ,and needed answers.The US specialist was a nice lady,she took a bunch of pictures,and called the doctor in.The doctor look at the images and called for two more doctors....They started to whisper unknown language into each others ears.That's when i started to worry .I felt like a rat in a cage,without name.I was told that something is not right in my right boob.I have calcification's,i have a mass,and i have two more  suspicious lump in my axillary.He said it's something i should worry about.So i did.In 10 minutes i was scheduled for core biopsy for next week.